Have you ever wondered why - when you are feeling overwhelmed by so many assessments - you tend to procrastinate even more so than you do on a regular basis? Yeah.. guilty as charged. Its a rather annoying habit. Just like my being obsessive-compulsive. In a matter of 10 minutes, I would have gone back and forth between the Facebook homepage and Farmville application about 50 times - even though there is nothing new. WHY?! I've got an essay due Monday and a literature review due Tuesday. I'm currently on 300 words for the essay and haven't even looked at the criteria for the lit review yet - and not planning to anytime soon.

I'm hoping to finish off the essay tonight - the topic is "I want to know what love is". Basically, we write about an experience (or a selection from pop culture) that represents what love means to us, how it makes us feel and if it differs from the reading for that week. Its pretty much writing up a D&M for your tutor to read. And whats worse is that a handful of essays are going to be chosen to lead our lecture in 2 weeks time.. How sucky would it be to be called upon to talk about your failed love life (or lack of) in front of some hundred uni students. I've been quite excited about writing this essay although its so hard not to have conflicting ideologies. Love is such a profound topic. You start to question who truly has the right to say what is love or not. In that sense, everyone is capable of love, being loved and having loved.

I've sort of put an intro together but I'm not quite sure if it sounds right. I'll post it up but then again, by the time someone reads it and decides to give me feedback I'd probably have handed it in already (lol). And this, my friends, is how 'love' makes me feel:

Ambivalence. "The coexistence, within an individual, of ... [conflicting] feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions", as defined by Dictionary.com (2009, para. 2), is the epitome and somewhat rationalisation of my incapability to profoundly develop eloquence in this generic paradigm of love that is cultivated particularly between oneself and their 'other-half'. One may easily suggest that knowing what you want will alleviate this state of ambiguity and indecisive sense of lust, but my experiences have settled for knowing love as a rather unjust, waiting game on which ambivalence thrives. Love is in the journey and the adventure - not in the end destination. It is through the actions that we make, the words that we speak, the sentiments that we act upon, our lingering thoughts, our wrongs and our rights, that we are able to truly fathom the logic behind its intoxicating magnetism and intentions which underlie and essentially write up our love plot.